


Less and less of myself

by gosjija



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Benedict Cumberbatch Wearing Glasses, English Actors RPF, F/M, GlassesBatch, M/M, Professor Cumberbatch - Freeform, RPF, Uni AU, benedict cumberbatch rpf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2528792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gosjija/pseuds/gosjija
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie slowly starts to arranged his life on his studies in England. However, not everything is going smoothly, especially when on her way appear glamorous and mysterious Professor Cumberbatch - one of the youngest in the staff the university of Oxford.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Mam siebie coraz mniej](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2051298) by [gosjija](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gosjija/pseuds/gosjija). 



> No beta, no brit- picked. English is not my native. My first attempt in FF. Sort of AU where Benedict Cumberbatch is Professor at Uni and wearing glasses all the time. All criticism appreciated. And I wrote this long before Sophie Hunter. Just saying.

                                                                                        

 

**MUSIC:[Dawid Podsiadło - No](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjPzRcfEzlQ)**

And I'm on the street again the only place   
Which welcomes me with open arms and gives me warm farewells   
I think it's time for me to be a decent man   
Well, hello girl, I'd like to know what is your name   
  
I don't want you to know, know, know, know   
You've just been caught into the sweetest trap   
I'm afraid that I can't let you go, go, go, go    
Until I feel bad 'bout lying again

 

Ok. A deep breath. You can do it. How many times Mom told you that the biggest obstacles arise in your mind? Deep inside you agree. Penchant for psychoanalysis did not take by itself ... But let's focus on facts. You are finally in college. University of Oxford - Faculty of literature. Fulfilled your childhood dream - a wonderful feeling, isn't it? So why the stress? I know, I know... You're afraid that you will not manage, made a fool of myself and your dreams will end as a humiliating farce. Internally, you give yourself a kick in the your no-so-skinny ass. Shame on you! You worked hard for it and what? Now you would let go because you're afraid of? Oh, no, no, no ... It will be a wonderful three years. Full of adventure, hard work, exploring the mysteries of literature and getting to know new friends. And to add on England! Beloved, longed, longed England!

 

\- Ouch!

\- Watch out!

 

With difficulty you catch balance after inadvertently hitting on a passing student. Ok. Back on the ground. Enough staring at the front wall of the university (testing the word on your tongue ... Yes! Finally, I can say that I am on the "varsity"!). You have to look for the office and do the necessary paperwork. English-mode-on. Straightened shoulders, chest forward, caught the stomach and into battle!

 

***

 

Schedule - is. The plan of the campus - it is. Phone, wallet, keys - they are. You can go. Waving goodbye roommate (flatmate, not roomate) and twice check whether you lock the door (better a habit, even if you know that someone is inside). Time to first lecture.

 

Fifteen-minute subway ride passes quickly. There is so much new to see. Though this woman. Recognize four inch Loubutins and purse from the latest collection of Chanel. She decided to take the subway but you suspect that in her garage there's probably a shiny BMW. Or something more expensive. All in all, you do not know about cars. But the car is definitely black. As her clothes. Or blood-red. Just like her lipstick. Secretly you look at your modest ballerinas and almost missed subway stop. Phew... there's nothing like the adrenaline portion in the morning. On the way to varsity (it's silly but you love the word) you buy a small coffee (cofee to go, please) and a sandwich. It will be a good day.

 

 

The first meeting of the group studying the same course of study improve your mood. You'll find some nice people who seem to want willing guided the city and you see that you are not only a lost little soul. You feel like your posture is more upright and even breathe somehow lighter. Silly smile crawls on his face but you do not care about it. You are happy.

 

\- And how the mood before the new semester? Ready for the drudgery?

\- Yeah... simply can not wait...

\- Sure, they again give us a lot of books to read ..

\- And one more boring than the other!

\- Hey, hey, hey! Stop it! You say like someone told you to study! If you do not like it, go take a shovel, and dig ditches. Or chips sell!

\- Ooooh, I'm sorry! No job disgrace!

\- Hmmm... I mean a few professions which we discuss in this issue ...

\- Martin... you and your perverted mind...

\- Oh there once a pervert. Let's say that versatile.

\- Versatile as it is you'll slip through by classes with Cumberbatch!

\- Cumberbatch? What's the name? Sounds like a fart in the bathtub!

Collective laughter turns your attention away from the incredibly addictive book. Okay, you're a little book-mole (extremely) well but in the end you are studying literature, so you have an excuse.

\- What's up gulls?

\- About next semester, sunshine - corresponds Michael peppering his eloquent statement with a smile straight from "Jaws 3". Your strength of the will hold back the eyes roll. When he finally understood that no, you're not interested. AND ABSOLUTELY hate paying for thy noble person silly diminutives. And his American accent but it just not his fault.

\- And What about it?

\- And what is that? Lots of work and even more boring books. Oh, department of literature.

\- I've heard the name of some professor Cumbersomething. Do you know anything about him?

\- Cumberbatch. Not much except that it is the terror of the whole department.

\- Great. Probably another old fogy obsessed with Shakespeare.

\- Life...

 

 


	2. Fool's Gold

**MUZYKA:[Yael Naim new soul](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgEfYGzojcA)**

I'm a new soul   
I came to this strange world   
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take   
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear   
Finding myself making every possible mistake

 

Pleased with myself spend a lazy evening in your microscopic flat. Lying next to the cabinet plate of spaghetti reminds you about a delicious dinner which after a few failures associated with not-so-simple recipe you managed to finally cook. After two lamps (cheap but good) wine, your thoughts drift slightly toward the tomorrow. Monday ... What did you do? Oh yes... recall a thing or two about Shakespeare. Waving one hand even though you are alone. You realize the futility of the gesture after a few seconds. Is this really were two glasses of wine? Squint slightly to the side of the bottle. Ok, maybe three ... Yeah. No more. Wh cares about Shakespeare? Guy died long enough and it probably will not be sorry. You smile to himself from your funny comment and decide it's time to sleep. Yeah. To sleep. Is beds can hypnotize? Your obviously have the ability in this direction.

***

\- The Gods! - Hangover The murderer has no heart. As you at the moment. Seller who sold you this particular wine will die a slow and painful death. You definitely silencing shy voice in the back of the head saying that how ends drinking the cheap stuff. Quietly there. Time for coffee and toast with Nutella. Ugh... or the same coffee. A short visit to the bathroom and you know that your... indisposition (admit it - it's a hangover!) Is not only sensible but also the most visible. A great way to start the new semester.

\- Damn, rainbow and dots! Of course, no clean cup and the more spoons!

\- Annie do not yell, I beg you... Not today ...

\- What happens? Period? Your cat died? And no, he could not die because we live together and I'd know if you had a furry. So what? Depression? Maybe you want to talk about it? Or even better - I'll be....

\- Annie!

Oh. Ok. Maybe this cry was not the best of ideas to which you happen to fall into but one more word and your head explodes. Need coffee. Or even though a sip of water because your language seems that you have today made of suede.

\- Aaaah! You have a hangover!

\- Can you whisper?

\- Well not really !!!

So much for faith in humanity …

***

Hopefully you'll buy a cup of coffee on the way and may be able to grab a bite sandwiches though. The mere thought of food turns the stomach to the other side but you know it will help. Riding the subway has never been so horrible. Why today, half the city decided to public transport? Probably because it rains churlish, nasty, typically English rain. You forgot umbrella, casual driver thought it was time to splash someone and that person was you and your hair looks like... deep breath. Pull yourself because you're not a child, despite the fact that at the moment you have a great desire to fall to pieces. And all good mood so painstakingly collected yesterday is damned.

***

\- Damn, damn, damn... Fuck!

Properly pissed, soaked wet with dog haircu,t you find a note on the door of the room in which, according to the plan, should be a lecture. Due to the large number of willing English literature course for intermediate-advanced, will be held in room 221b, east wing. Wonderful! Wonderful! It is nothing that you have no idea where this fucking room is located. It is nothing that never even were in the east wing! It is nothing that you have a full 3 minutes into the first class with that Professor Cumebumberm. You start to run through the corridor, on the way jostling group of students pouring out (thankfully cold) remnant of coffee. At least your blouse is not white so there is no visible stains... But focus! It was one and a half minutes. You ask a random person about the road and you're at the door of the room. Ok, ok. Five seconds to embracing and gently dodge door. May be able to sneak... Oh! is not even that far space...

\- And Mrs. where you are going ?!

And is back. Shaggy, hated bump of fear in his throat. You turn slowly and vaguely see in the end of the hall a young guy. Phew ... So, the lecture has not yet begun.

\- Um ... I'm so sorry I'm late.

\- You're a student of literature course for intermediate - advanced as I understand?

\- Yes, yes. Sure. As I said I'm late for that I deeply apologize. Can I can take the place before the coming of Professor Cumbersomething?

A gentle chuckle in the room should draw your attention. And before that, coming into the room you should noted that the room is quiet. Too quiet and peaceful considering the absence of the teacher. Slowly you realize your mistake but it's too late.

\- Cumberbatch. Professor Cumberbatch. We are pleased that you, Miss honored us with your valuable presence but I have to mention that if you occurred in time to come you. would know who are talking to. This time I let you take your place but remember that I absolutely does not tolerate lateness! Now, now, please sit down and do not disturb me in class! I assume that there's a few people in the room who are a little bit interested in the topic of the lecture. It would be advisable show them a little respect.

 

You muttered an apology and sit down on the nearest available space. Yours knees are wobbly and the hands... The hands are shaking so you can't keep the pen. You give yourself a moment trying to gather thoughts. The blood pounding in your ears, the adrenaline makes yours whole twitching. Damn, damn, damn. You take a few deep breaths and feel the tension slowly descends leaving a slight dizziness. You pick up a pen from under the bench (when it even had time to fall?) And you're trying to concentrate on the lecture. You are trying to control, looking around the room. A classic example of that is something we have in common with animal. We must recognize the terrain, identify the threat and possible escape. Speaking of danger... It's time to look at the teacher. Gather courage you timidly look at him pretending that you correct your hair. Oh dear... you lack the words. Quickly shut the jaws before the professor catches you on this that you stare at him as the world's last muffin. The professor? How is this possible? There is no chance that the young god standing next to the screen had more than 40 years! Probably not so much. Your eyes flit after the reddish-brown hair (great cutting), shaven face (cheekbones! Cheekbones!), The shapely shoulders and...

\- Can you finally deigns to answer my question!

You answer with shocked choke and can not breathe. Some good souls flap you on the back. Terrified think only about whether he knows where a second ago you looked. You wipes the tears from your eyes and squeezing it:

\- Could you repeat the question?

\- No... I would not. The next time you decide to daydream I would be grateful if you chose a different time. And place. For the second time within an hour you are doing a spectacle of yourself. Please keep your strength at a time when we discuss the impact on society of the theater in Shakespeare's time.

\- Ugh... So... umm yes sir.

 

Grimace on the face of lecturers and giggles in the room only deepen your humiliation. How many times a day one can make himself look like an idiot?! As you can see, for you not yet been defined limit. The rest of the lecture goes on mercilessly. You try to listen. Even notice that the topic seems interesting but you can't concentrate. That voice! Mechanically prescribe the text of the slides and every now and then you look at watch. Anything to end.

***

You are the first person that comes out (ok, runs) from the floor. Apparently you know that you should approach and explain the situation, somehow apologize and appease but you can not. Enveloped into panic you run away to the toilet to wash your face with cold water. What kind of a coward! You are grown woman! He do not throw up on you! And although the little voice of reason once again makes itself, you silencing it and you come back to the apartment previously put your head out of the bathroom to check that your pursuer (as it now did you call him) somewhere lurking. No. There is no chance you now oppose his aura of arrogance. Better to let the situation die down. You do tell yourself at least as entering the subway carriage. Anything further away.

 

Back to the apartment is like in a trance. You hardly notice what's going on around you until you shut the door behind. You lean your whole body and then you release the air. You are disappointed and angry at yourself for that so easily gave up out and even more for your cowardice. However, you allow yourself to weakness. Today is one of those days that are better wait out the. You go straight to the bedroom, you wrap yourself in a blanket and you're trying to chase away bad thoughts. The quiet sound of rain hitting the windows, gentle creaking floors in the apartment one floor above. You pull his hand from under the blanket and groped looking for a remote control for the player. Resound the first notes of your favorite song. Perfectly. 

\- I am a small burrito of cowardice and misery.

Snorts under her breath, and after a while you feel that you are drifting toward sleep.

***

Irritated, he too hard slammed the door to his office. Unnecessarily scared in the morning that poor student. The first year, the accent from central Europe, although it must be admitted that barely noticable. But he always had a knack for that. Such behavior on the first lecture ... And he wanted to go professional. Even without that this incident the rest of the team looks suspicious to him due to his young age. On the one hand, better in the early scare students and have peace of mind but on the other hand ... it happened. There is no blame for the lousy weather, newly dug roundabout on the way to work and Olivia who recently irritated him more and more. And especially this morning when he let slip a few words about the children. Again. Yes, agreed too early for such commitments but do you really take offense about an innocent joke? A true gentleman is always calm. So mother always said. And father added that when a man appears, not after he starts, but after he ends. "You will have to talk with the student. She made a couple of rudeness but those eyes full of fear will now haunt him for the rest of the day. Students from abroad are always those delicate. "He thought with a weary sigh, getting into the car right away, twirling heating. Damn cold lately...

 


End file.
